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Paranoia

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Paranoia

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Release Date: 5th September 2013
Rating: M
Director: Robert Luketic

Stars: Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Liam Hemsworth, Amber Heard, Richard Dreyfuss, Julian McMahon & Josh Holloway

Rune Time: 106 min’s

Trailer: http://bit.ly/15az9Hs

Score: 1⁄2 out of 5

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Whereas this week’s other major release White House Down fell into the ‘intentionally so ridiculous it’s a hoot’ category, unfortunately the same can’t be said for Paranoia.

No, this is just pure bad. Bad as in appallingly acted, scripted, paced, shot & featuring some of Hollywood’s worst continuity issues of all time; with the only redeeming feature really being for the ladies (& I suppose some of you lads out there) - Hemsworth, sporting an insanely chiselled body parades around for what feels like half the film dressed in nothing but a towel!!

Man, you’d think by now Hollywood money men would have well & truly given up on a director like Australia’s own Luketic? After a promising big-screen debut with Legally Blonde a dozen or so years ago, he followed up with a string of turkeys - Monster-In-Law, The Ugly Truth, Killers. And now this. But maybe it isn’t all on him - I mean he did have 2 screenwriters who adapted a novel that this crap-fest is based on. However given I have no intention of ever reading the original novel for fear of it being just as bad if not worse than its big-screen incarnation, I guess I’ll never know.

But I digress. Hemsworth plays Adam, a chiselled, towel-wearing tech genius who’s being blackmailed by his billionaire boss Wyatt (Oldman, slumming it, clearly with bills to pay) to go & work for his corporate adversary Goddard (a disarmingly shaven-headed Ford). The plan? Get on Goddard’s good side & then pretty much rip off his tech company’s soon-to-be released game-changing device. Hey, what’s a little corporate espionage between two leaders of capitalism??

And this is where one of my main issues with this stinker lies - if we could have focussed on Wyatt & Goddard, this could have been a lot more entertaining. But instead we get stitched up with an unconvincing love story between Adam & one of Goddard’s up & comers Emma (a poorly sketched character played by Heard). I mean I get it - they’re both hot ... but can’t we just leave Hemsworth to ‘catch his fire’ in a couple of months with Jennifer Lawrence in the Hunger Games sequel?

Bottom-line? I could go on far longer than this flick’s entire run time with a laundry list of criticisms. And as if having to sit through this crap-fest wasn’t punishment enough, I’ve had to think about it all over again & then waste precious energy typing this review. Some movies really are soul-destroying ... 

Tickets available at The Box Office